No matter how seasoned a dater you are (or not), flirting really doesn’t come easy. Even the most confident people have trouble at times – it’s true. But getting to know someone new is one of the most fun parts of the early stages of a relationship, so don’t let your flirting skills – or lack of, get the best of you. Here are a few tips that will help you level up your flirting game, in a non-creepy and non-corny way of course. You smooth operator, you.
1. A little mindset reset
Most of the times, we all view flirting as a means to an end. The whole idea of it is to eventually lead to a monogamous relationship, a hook-up, a marriage – whatever it may be. But it can take a lot of the pressure off to remove that goal and just aim at having some pleasant conversation for a little while or a mutually pleasant experience. This can make it so much more manageable and help you feel much less overwhelmed.
2. It isn’t about you
A good thing to keep in mind is to view flirting as being more about the other person than you. Focus on making them feel good rather than wanting others to make you feel good. It’s also a good way to ease that fear of rejection and also deal with self-doubt like “Am I funny enough?”, “Do they find me charming?”, etc.
3. It helps to open with a question
It can be as simple as “Do you know XYZ”, or “Have you tried the sushi here?”. Seriously, you don’t need to overthink this. It’s a really easy way to get the conversation started. You can also direct questions about their likes to get them started on talking about their interests.
4. Flirt before you see them
A flirty text beforehand, “Excited to see you,” or “I think you’ll look great in blue tonight”, is a good way to let them know you’re thinking about them. Plus, it helps you low-key gauge their level of interest. Smart, isn’t it? 😉
5. If all else fails, smile
Body language is everything and can really help let the other person know how open, friendly or closed off you are being. A happy, genuine smile is the easiest way to help lower walls and help you seem interested, even if you’re introverted.
6. Know when it’s time to end the conversation
When you are talking to someone, make an effort to notice how they are reacting to you. Are they looking away? Are they replying with short, one-word answers? Have they taken a step back? If they don’t seem as interested, and that’s fine, it’s time to end the conversation. There’s a certain level of confidence in knowing when not to push things and move on.
7. Be confident
No, don’t be that over-confident, arrogant douche! But just the right amount of confidence (even if you don’t feel it on the inside) is key. All that talk about confidence being sexy – well, we hate to sound cliche, but it’s true!